Its All About How You React

My father is usually unaware of what is going on around him. Unfortunately, sometimes he disregards others because he honestly doesn't notice that they are there. For example, over winter break I had a doctor's appointment and my dad came with me. Twenty minutes late to the appointment, my dad barged through the waiting room doors, rushing up to the nurse at the front counter explaining why we were so late. My father failed to notice the three people standing in line, waiting to speak to the nurse. He just went on up and talked to the nurse as though he and her were the only people in the room. I watched the people in line react to my father. The woman first in line was shocked and annoyed, her eyes narrowing in on my father. The man behind her started to speak up, saying, "Hey, wait your turn!" My father did not hear him. However, the last woman in line calmly stod still and waited, not a bit of contempt shown on her face. I was quite surprised at her reaction.

Now, it may seem as though I do not respect my father here, but this isn't true. I love him very much. Yet, it is times like these when I want to tell him that he is being rude. However, I know he isn't doing this on purpose--my dad is honestly a kind and friendly man.  He isn't acting rude on purpose, he honestly just fails to notice those around him at times.

Looking back ath the woman who reacted in a mature way towards my father, I realize that she knew that even though she could not control the situation she was in, she did know that she controlled her reaction to it. She had mastered the art of reacting to difficult situations with a positive attitude. In the words of Forni: "Our happiness does not spring from the events of our lives but rather from how we choose to respond to those events." If we all incorporated a little more postive reacting to situations, I think that the world would be a much more civil place. It might be difficult, but it's definetly worth it because in the end--a day, a week, or a year later--you would be happy you did respond positively.

The Gossip Effect

Collegeacb.com. But as one of my friends calls it "The CB." If you're being talked about, you're on it. Everyone here at SMU knows about it. It is possibly the most offensive, hateful, and unfortunately, visited website at SMU. Essentially a gossip website, Collegeacb.com allows anyone to anonymously write about anything or anyone in the SMU community, stating information that could be true or completely false. Posts range from topics such as individual students, teachers, and Greek Organizations. Most posts are demeaning and accusatory towards people and groups. Even though the accusations made towards people have no evidence to back them up, many people assume that what is written on the website is true. A close friend of mine “Never posts, but checks the website everyday to make sure I’m not on it.” And I can understand why.


Another friend of mine unfortuately had her whole name as a discussion topic on the website by the second week of school. People kept commenting on her “thread,” and soon she had over a hundred comments under her name. These comments called her vulgar names and bullied her relentlessly. She soon did not want to leave her room much, and whenever she was with me and I introduced her to someone, that person immediately stiffened when I said her name. Even though what was posted about her was false, people began to know her as “that girl on Collegeacb” and judged her automatically. She is now considering transferring because she feels as though she is scarred forever.

My question is this: When did it ever become acceptable to publicly demean people like this? Are people now only expressing how they have felt about one another because they can do so hiding behind their computer? I feel that for the most part, the true reason that many people post hateful things on Collegeacb derives from anger and impulse. My theory goes a little something like this: Someone does something mean to me and hurts me. I, therefore angry and not in a good state of mind, decide that I will post something mean about them online to get back at them. Unfortunately, tomorrow I may regret it realizing that I was upset and irrational. However, the post is there now and there really isn’t much I can do about it so it stays.


Now, what I believe we as a culture should do to rid of this problem is master the art of restraint: ”choosing behavior that although it may not seem the most gratifying now, will make us feel good five minutes from now, tomorrow, or next year” (Forni 23). By controlling our impulses and not posting rude comments, we are choosing to act civilly towards one another. Later on in life, we can then look back at our college years and be proud that we acted righteously towards each other.