Honor thy Mother and Father? Please.

“Dad are you kidding me? I deserve those Tory Burch flats, you owe me them. It’s unfair how little I get compared to all my friends.” This was the first line I heard come out of a girl standing in line in front of me at the cafeteria yesterday. She proceeded to complain to her father on the phone for about five minutes, arguing that she was “so unfortunate” to have to deal with a father who “doesn’t appreciate” her. She then threw in a few swear words, and hung up the phone.  She was a stranger to me; yet, I despised her for what she represented—the stereotypical SMU girl. Here she stood, Louie Vuitton Bag slung on her shoulder, dangling her car’s Lexus key ring, accusing her father of making her life miserable. Poor thing.

What really is sad is that this girl’s demeanor towards her father is in no way atypical from many teens today. I tend to hear my friends speak towards their parents in a similar manner with no filter; my peers run their mouths to their parents, oftentimes even belittling their parents.

Whatever happened to respect thy elders? Parents used to demand that their children treat them with respect, something that occurred without question. However, in many families this trait has dissolved. Many kids have a relationship with their parents like the one they have with their peers, referring to their parents as “Donna” and “Mark,” rather than “Mom” and “Dad.” Many teens even swear in from of their parents without thinking twice about it.

This carelessness towards how many teens speak to their parents reflects a great lack of respect. Parents deserve to be shown this respect because they are responsible for providing their children with so much. What we need is a change in the way many view, and therefore speak, to their parents. According to P.M. Forni, an expert in civility at John Hopkins University, the return of respect and veneration for parents is vital for teens to form valuable relationships with their parents because in doing so, “The quality of [those] relationships will substantially increase and with it the overall quality of everyday life” (62-63). 

Party at Club Fondren

As I scroll down my Facebook news feed on a Tuesday afternoon, I see several status about the "Club Fondy partying happening tonight." Statuses like "Raging in Fondren," and "Club Fondy is crazy," flood the page. At first glance, it may appear that "Club Fondy" is an actual Club where teens party at. However, the truth is that Fondren is actually the library at SMU. While these Facebook statuses may be sarcastic, they do reveal some truths. The library has become a social place now where people congregate with friends, rather than study or finish homework. And even though many do go to the library intending to be productive, doing so tends to be difficult. Those who arrive at the library just to meet up with friends contaminate the environment with their chatting and socializing, ruining one of the only places where students were once guaranteed a quiet place to study without distractions.

Don't get me wrong. I like studying with friends and around others. However, at the SMU library that goal seems distorted for many. I do think that most students retreat to the library intending to accomplish some homework. However, many spend most of their time avoiding getting much done. And consequentially, their actions prevent others from any means of productivity as well. 

For example, this past week I went to the library alone, planning on finish some reading for a class.  As I opened my book to start reading, my friend Lexi saw me and came over, asking if I wanted to study together. Her phone buzzed every five minutes from a new text message, interrupting my train of thought. Two hours into "studying" I realized I had read about ten pages. I couldn't focus. I told Lexi I had to move away from her because I wasn't getting anything done. After I moved, I focused for thirty minutes, until a group of students came in and sat at the table next to me. They chatted and laughed for a while, so I asked them if they would stop. They obliged, even though offended, looking at me as though I had asked them to stop dancing at the prom. Soon another student sat by me, crunching loudly on chips and answering phone calls. Three hours and only thirty pages in, I got up and left.

Here's my question: Why do people even bring these distractions with them? Not only does in not benefit themselves, but it hurts all of those in the library. These people's actions show that they have no respect for their fellow students. Stephen L.Carter, Professor of Law at Yale, provided in his book Civility, an example of 19-century train rides in which everyone "Followed the rules for the sake of their fellow passengers, and they did so, as one historian noted, out of a spirit of 'self-denial and the self-sacrifice of one's own comforter another's" (4).  People showed courtesy and respect for one another on these train rides.The library is like the train in this scenario. We all need to show some respect for those in the library by keeping our socializing, phones, food, and any other distractions out of the library, so that it can return as a students' refuge for studying.